9th October 2014

The Sod’s Law of Parenting

i-live-in-a-madhouse-ruled-by-a-tiny-army-that-i-made-myself1 – When you want one baby wipe, a clump of 10 will come out the packet. When you want 10, they will come out individually, folded up to make life as difficult as possible.

2 – When you only take one nappy out with you, your child will poo twice.

3 – Your child’s spill-free beaker never leaks at home. Put it in your bag and it will leak. 

4 – Your baby will wake frequently through the night at home, leaving you feeling like a zombie.  Send them to Granny and Grandad’s for the night and you can guarantee they will sleep right through.

5 – If you discover a new favourite foodstuff at a friend’s house or restaurant and fill the fridge with the new favourite foodstuff, your child will suddenly no longer like the new favourite foodstuff. It is guaranteed.

6 – This also applies to DVDs. Buy them the DVD that they sat transfixed in front and they will suddenly decide it isn’t worth their attention.

7 – If you ask a child if they need a wee before a long journey, they will say no. They will then ask for a wee five minutes later. Every time.

8 – If you have a clear out of some old toys to sell, your child will suddenly rediscover an old toy that they couldn’t possibly part with it. Same applies for passing old toys down to younger siblings.

9 – The baby can cry all day long and the toddler can whinge all day long – but when Daddy walks through the door, they will smile and giggle.

10 – If you make a cup of coffee, they will wake up from their nap.

11 – They will sleep in on a nursery or school morning – but be up with the sunrise on the weekend.

12 – They will be sat quietly, with full attention on an activity – until you answer a phone call and they start screaming, bouncing on the sofa, spilling their drinks, and begging for your attention.

13 – If you put them in a white top, it will have a suspicious stain within minutes.

14 – The day you forget the buggy rain cover is the day it will rain.

Can you add anything to the list?