Tag Archives: toddlers funny

19th March 2015

10 Things Not To Say To A Toddler

Stanley1 – You say: Mummy is tired today, shall we  put on a film and have a quiet afternoon?”

Your toddler thinks: Quiet? What’s quiet? Does it involve a set of musical instruments, a cracker whistle, and three full-blown tantrums?

 

2  – You say:“Only 7 sleeps until our holiday!”

Your toddler thinks: Wow! I’ll fetch my bag! And then I’ll stand by the door crying until it’s time to go! I’m as excited as you are, Mummy!

 

3 – You say: ‘Mummy loves these shoes! Why don’t we put them on! They’d look great with your outfit!”

Your toddler thinks: I hate those shoes. If they come near my feet again, I will scream.  And by the way, I’m wearing my slippers to nursery this morning.

 

4 – You say:GET DOWN! THAT’S DANGEROUS!!!!!!”

Your toddler thinks: Brilliant! Dangerous is my new favourite game – and next time, I’m going higher.

 

5 – You say:Look at the weather! I think we’ll just stay inside this afternoon!”

Your toddler thinks: OK Mummy, that sounds good. I’m going to run around the living room at top speed until you decide to take me out anyway – and then I’m going to refuse to wear my raincoat and wellies, just to make it all more fun.

 

6 – You say:  “Look what I bought for your baby brother!”

Your toddler thinks: I need that thing more than anything I have ever needed before. I will not rest until I get that thing. It is the only thing that will ever make me happy. What is it, Mummy?

 
7 – You say: – “Come on, only three more mouthfuls and you can have some pudding”

Your toddler thinks: Give me the cake.

 

8  – You say:Why don’t you show Freddie your new toy?

Your toddler thinks: OK, I will get the toy.  But I will not let go of it for the next 45 minutes. And if he even looks at it, there will be war.

 

9 – You say:Tell Daddy what you learnt at nursery this morning!”

Your toddler thinks: I have no idea what she’s talking about. Is it tea time yet?

 

10 – You say: Can you help me tidy up your toys?

Your toddler thinks: Of course Mummy, but I’m going to make the game more fun by pulling out two new toys for every one I put away. And then I’m going to empty my building blocks all over the living room floor to finish things off before bed.