Tag Archives: funny things children say

3rd February 2015

My toddler’s favourite three words (and other delightful things he says)

928826_1515941415326517_725062398_nMy toddler has three favourite words.

NO

NO-ESSS (translation: yes)

And when he can’t reply NO or NO-ESSS to the question, the default word to shout in my direction is SNACK!

He reminds me of the old priest in ‘Father Ted’, shouting DRINK! from his armchair. Our conversations usually go a bit like this:

“Stanley, what did you do at nursery this morning?’

‘SNACK!’

“Stanley, did you enjoy Granny’s visit?”

‘SNACK!’

“Stanley, can you share that toy with your brother, please?”

“SNACK!”

“Stanley, would you like to do some colouring?”

“NO! SNACK!’

‘Stanley, would you like a snack?”

(pause while question sinks in) “NO-ESSSS”

Of course, he has lots of other words in his vocabulary and speaks in proper long sentences when he isn’t barking his favourite three words at me. Recently he has surprised me with some of the words he knows – hippopotamus, zucchini, ukulele, and roof rack, for example. All very useful for everyday conversations.

Of course, we have also had the moments where I want the ground to swallow me up, like when I recently took him to the public toilets in the mall. After he’d had a wee, I sat down to have one myself, before he shouted in the loudest possible toddler voice:

HURRY UP, MUMMY! ARE YOU HAVING A POO?” (pause for a few seconds) “OH! WELL DONE MUMMY!

(it was a wee).

And then this weekend, when we took the boys to the beach. Stanley was playing happily on the shore, while we sat just in front on a blanket, soaking up the sunshine. The beach was quite busy and there were people enjoying time on the beach all around us. Suddenly he went deadly still and looked down at the sand. We froze. And suddenly…

I’M DOING A WEE! IN THE SEA! IT’S COMING OUT NOW! ON THE SAND! LOOK MUMMY! LOOK DADDY! I’M DOING A WEE”.

I thought about running away and disowning him, but all eyes were on us – so I walked over, muttering under my breathe about urine being sterile, so it really wasn’t such a big deal anyway. The young girls sunbathing next to us didn’t seem to agree and shot horrified looks in our direction. I consoled myself with the thought that one day down the line, they would be mothers and fully understand.

One day.

Probably.

Hopefully, anyway.

I have a feeling I will have a few more of these ground-please-swallow-me-up moments as time goes on. Wish me luck.