Tag Archives: Dealing with Gender disappointment

3rd September 2014

Dear Disappointed Person,

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I’m sorry that you find it tough getting used to the idea that I am happy with my two boys. I’m not pretending I am happy with a false smile on my face – but I am totally happy, wholly happy, wouldn’t-change-it-for-the-world happy that I got the combination of two consecutive boys.

What I wished for when I was pregnant is irrelevant (but for the record, I was desperate for a boy the first time and totally undecided the second). The point is that the very instant the doctor handed me my second boy, all pink and warm and squirming in my arms, I couldn’t imagine anything else. And whether he had been a boy, a girl, or in fact an alien, I would’ve been totally happy with my lot.

I am sorry that you have to ask constantly when we are planning to have a third child in the hope we get to add pink to our collection of newborn clothes. One day you may get your wish – but if you don’t, rest assured that I will not spend my life wishing I could swap my child.

When a picture of a scan or newborn baby is shared on the internet of a second, third, or fourth child of the consecutive sex, please try and hide your disappointment. Don’t cover your anguish by joking that the couple will have to try again soon to get their wished-for girl or boy. Believe me; jumping into bed is the last thing on their mind.

Don’t make jokes about the father of girls being disappointed he never got his boy. He couldn’t imagine anything else but his brood of girls, who have him totally wrapped around their little fingers. And don’t joke to the mum of boys that she is totally outnumbered and must crave a little girl time. She adores her energetic pack of little men (and likes the chance to escape to girly escapades when they head out with their Dad).

When families share the news that they are expecting a different gender to their existing children, you may want to congratulate them on winning the jackpot and having ‘the perfect family’. Go ahead. Their family is perfect. as the family of three girls, or four boys is perfect. How perfect that we are all so perfect!

I’m sorry that you find it tough getting used to the idea that I am happy with my two boys. Go pour yourself a large G&T and relax.

Love a Mum of Boys