2nd January 2015

A Christmas Round-up by Wilfred, aged 11 months

photo copy– I liked my stocking. It had a tassel I could pull, which I enjoyed for a few minutes while Mummy pulled paper off things and made excited noises. The paper was nice, I ate it.

– I got a toy remote control as a present. I was not fooled. I threw it away and found the real remote. Then I ate it.

–  My big brother’s new toys were more exciting than mine. Grabbing them when his back was turned was a challenge I took very seriously. Then I ate them.

– Mummy gave me a nice breakfast of scrambled egg. It was so yummy that I sneezed it all over her dress first thing in the morning. She changed into a jumper and leggings after that, which I liked better.

– The big people seemed annoyed that I only slept for 17 minutes at lunchtime. When I came downstairs, they were all sat around a table in red hats. There wasn’t a place laid for me so I can only surmise that I wasn’t invited to the party. It was boring, so I entertained myself trying to grab plates, cutlery, and cracker toy presents every time one moved within my reach. Then I ate them.

– I liked the Christmas tree. I worked out where they had plugged the lights in the wall and played a brilliant game where I crawled over and tried to pull it out every time the big people had their backs turned. They built all kinds of things to stop me, which made the game even more exciting.

– There are so many people in the house at Christmas that you can easily sneak past them and get into the dog’s bowl.

– However hard Mummy tried to disguise brussel sprouts in my food, I was not fooled. I immediately spat them out in revulsion and threw them onto the floor. They are disgusting.

– New Year’s Eve was fun. I selflessly stayed asleep throughout the night so the big people could have as much fun as they wanted – and ten minutes after they came to bed, I woke up so we could play. I think they liked that.