20th July 2015

8 of the most annoying things you can say to a mother of boys (from experience)…

Screen Shot 2015-07-20 at 14.50.091 – “A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter for all your life.”

A recent comment left on my blog. Well, thanks commenter! Shall I just resign right now? But seriously, my sons are my sons for all my life – and that outdated, depressing view on mothering boys is just not appropriate or welcome. My husband has a wife – but he also has a close, loving and wonderful relationship with his mother. Good job she didn’t pack up and leave on our wedding day.

2 – “Watch out, he’s going to be a ladies man!”

To be quite honest, I haven’t really thought ahead to his dating style just yet. He’s 17 months and still in nappies.  Saying an equivalent to a mother of girls would be seen as totally inappropriate – but somehow it’s viewed as a bit comical when directed to mothers of boys. Can we just let them be children first?

3 – “Oh well, you’ll have to try again soon for a girl!”

Said to me when I found out I was pregnant with my second boy. In my humble opinion (which I hope is quite valid given I am mother to two of the things), having little boys is not simply a consolation prize. It is wonderful and totally fulfilling. I wanted children. I got children. Their gender simply didn’t matter. How lucky am I?

4 – “I don’t think I could cope with boys. I don’t like football or guns or mud.”

Firstly, you would cope with boys and you would love it. You would have no choice, but to cope.  Their gender would be irrelevant. Secondly, I couldn’t care less whether they play with their toy buggy, cook at their play kitchen, pick up a gun, kick a football, or roll around in mud. And if they were girls, I’m sure I would feel exactly the same (and be cleaning up just as much mud). If they are happy, I am happy. If it keeps them quiet for a while so I can sit down with a cup of coffee, I am even happier.

5 – “Those big blue eyes and long eyelashes are so wasted on a boy!”

Yep, heard this one too on more than one occasion. Why exactly are they wasted? I think those eyes and eyelashes look quite good on his face.

6 – “Oh! Two boys! You’ve got your hands full!”

Yes! As do all mothers, regardless of the gender of their children. And why is having our hands full seen as such a negative thing? As it felt pretty wonderful when I first held them in my arms and I haven’t wanted to let them go since.

7 – “Wow! Bet your husband is happy!”

Yes! Because he has an awesome wife and two amazing children! And he would be just as happy if we had two amazing girls.  And by the way, it’s not just him that is happy – I am too!

8 – “Now you just need a girl and your family is complete!”

Why is it that some people think that families can’t be ‘complete’ if they don’t have a mix of genders? My family is complete when I decide it is complete. We can’t all be The Waltons, after all.