8th August 2014

10 Things to Consider Before Having Number Two

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1. Even if you were lucky enough to have an easy, enjoyable pregnancy the first time, this is unlikely to happen again. You will not go for quiet, uninterrupted coffees with fellow pregnant ladies, stroking your bump as you discuss varicose veins and how awful it is to have to get out of bed for a wee. You will not enjoy monthly maternity massages followed by long snoozes. You will not waft around in maxi dresses, looking beautiful with your bump. You will walk around in practical leggings and tunics, which are most likely to be smothered in this morning’s breakfast (or last week’s in fact).

2. You won’t always be welcome at gatherings of first-time mums-to-be. This will come as a shock, but your toddler simply isn’t welcome. Neither is your ‘know it all’ advice. Instead, you will team up with fellow multiple mummies to reminisce about how easy your life was when you only had one.

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3. You will probably get more sleep in hospital than you have had for the last few years.

4. When baby comes home, you will no longer feel aggrieved by constant visitors. You will welcome them with open arms and fully expect them to entertain the older sibling for the entirety of their visit.

5. You will leave the house within days of arriving home, whether you can walk or not. As leaving the house and limping along with a screaming baby is better than being stuck inside all day with an older child that can move.

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6. You will not sleep when the baby sleeps. You will spend this time watching re-runs of Peppa Pig.

7. You know that bit with your first when you had a terrible night and slept late into the morning with baby to make up for it? Say goodbye to that. Just as baby number two drifts off to sleep as the sun rises, child number one will wake up. You will have your suspicions they have come to some kind of evil arrangement with each other. It’s probably true.

8. You will not have time for emails, phone calls or letters to friends. Friends with no children or one child will not understand, as you will still have time to dip into Facebook – but the truth is that anything that engages your brain for more than a 50-character status update just isn’t happening.

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9. The second child will surprise you constantly with his or her achievements – as unlike the first time, you simply wont have time to study his or her progress and take bets on when it will happen. One day, the baby will start crawling and you will be aghast that it has happened so quickly. In fact, you probably missed it completely as you were too busy extracting a marble from older child’s nostril or attempting to clear up playdoh matted into the carpet.

10. Despite all of this, you will not regret your decision to have number two for one second. Not for one single second. You will doubt your sanity for this – but it really is all worth it, especially when the small one catches sight of the older one and plants the happiest smile on his or her face. Thank goodness for that.

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